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What are some funny Greek swear words that are not offensive?
This question has been sitting lonely in my in-queue for a very very long time.
In order to address it, I have seen fit to google a couple of funny swear words, and I came across this delightful thread: melontikos ploiarxos . Someone on that education forum was graduating from a maritime college, and asking what he might do next. A respondent made fun of his choice of career. The torrent of invective that ensued was quite intense, but amusingly it was not scatological or blasphemous (the forum is in fact censored); so it likely fits the bill that OP was asking for.
I excerpt the invective:
A: Δεν σε πήραν χαμπάρη στην σχολή τι βλήμα είσαι: Noone in the school has cottoned on to how much of a missile [= idiot] you are
B: ΠΟΙΟ ΝΟΜΙΖΕΙΣ ΟΤΙ ΕΙΣΑΙ ΡΕ ΚΑΡΑΓΚΙΟΖΗ. ΛΕΓΕ ΡΕ ΧΛΕΜΠΟΝΙΑΡΗ: Who do you think you are, you Karagiozis [hero of shadow puppetry = clown]? Speak up, melon-face [= someone yellow as a melon = a consumptive].
ΓΙΑ ΠΟΙΟ ΛΟΓΟ ΤΟ ΚΑΝΕΙΣ ΜΩΡΗ ΞΕΦΤΥΛΙΣΜΕΝΗ ΓΑΛΟΤΣΑ ΤΟΥ ΚΕΡΑΤΑ: Why would you do that, you goddamned humiliated gumshoe of a cuckold [lit. horned man: generic intensifier]
C: ΚΑΤΑΛΛΑΒΕΣ ΡΕ ΜΠΑΓΛΑΜΑ ΓΙΑΤΙ ΣΤΗΝ ΕΙΠΕ Ο ΑΛΛΟΣ, ΕΝΑΣ ΒΟΘΡΟΣ ΕΙΣΑΙ ΚΑΙ ΤΙΠΟΤΕ ΑΛΛΟ ΤΕΝΕΚΕ Ε ΤΕΝΕΚΕ: Do you understand, you Bağlama [small stringed instrument = someone worthless] why the other guy yelled at you? You are nothing but a sewer. You tin can—you hear me? Tin can!
ΜΑΘΕ ΟΡΘΟΓΡΑΦΙΑ ΠΟΥ ΘΕΣ ΚΑΙ ΜΕΤΑΠΤΥΧΙΑΚΟ ΣΚΟΥΠΙΔΙ ΕΛΕΙΝΕ ΚΑΙ ΤΡΙΣΑΘΛΙΕ: Learn how to spell! And you want to do a postgrad degree! You piece of garbage, miserable, and thrice-wretched.
B: AKOY KARAGIOZI MIN MOY TO PEZEIS TORA ME DAFORETIKO ONOMA AJAKOLOYTEIS NA EISAI TRISATLIOS KARIOLIS: Listen, Karagiozis [clown], don’t start pretending now you have a different name [hypothesis: A = C], you continue to be a thrice-wretched wooden bed [euphemism for whore; from carriola, which in Italian now means wheelbarrow].
(Btw, the spelling of everyone on the thread is atrocious. Including C. And for that matter B, which is quite a feat considering his response was in Roman characters.)
Anarchist Graffiti: “Agennst Boorzhwa Awrthografee”